Lightly Wicked

There is a side, well more like a facet really as sides seems so limited in number, anyway, there is a facet to me which I don't talk about much in this blog. I used to talk about it more often. But, I haven't had anything new to say. Not the Witch stuff but the kinky stuff. Yes, the ever naughty sounding BDSM. If you have to ask what the initials mean, go ask your Mother. Ask her anyway, just to see what she says. My Mother would give me that kind of disappointed look and wonder how I can be so old fashioned on one hand and yet like something which to her is so alien and just, bad, for lack of a better or shorter word. A lot of people think BDSM is bad, just wicked, evil stuff for yet more of the devil worshipers who are all going to hell anyway. Sometimes it really is convenient not to believe in hell.

Having blabbed all that. Mainly just to give you some space before pulling out the big guns... I have met someone who actually is interesting. Yes, I've said that a time or twelve. But this time it isn't someone who replied to my ad, penis in hand (often literally I think). I replied to his ad. So we have not met face to face yet. This weekend he has plans to be sledding with friends so it won't happen right away. We met because he is looking for someone who likes kinkiness. He isn't looking for a relationship and that is fine with me. I don't really want anything so serious and heavy. I don't want to make promises or be expected to use the big L word any time soon. I'm kind of fed up with the dating plan.

So I will just enjoy a man. I don't know if I have ever done that, not since my husband when things were still pretty new between us. Before immigration, jobs and other stuff complicated things.

I don't know how many women have ever dominated a man. In any kind of way, not just a sensual way. It is a LOT of fun. I'm not some butchy, demoness, bitch type. People usually describe me as sweet and nice and all that other stuff. I like being that way, not so much what it does for my reputation but I'd rather be nice than the other option. But, when it comes to dominating a man in this way, you really do have to try it, at least once in your life. There is such a power in it. Such a thrill and a charge of energy in leading him around and having him behave at the end of your stick. Not that I am into anything harsh or messy in a yucky way. Water and oils are about the only liquid substance involved.

Of course it helps a lot that I've seen a photo of him and he is lovely looking, a kind, nice face and tall. He even says he is kind of shy. That just works along so well with my wicked, evil plans.

Anyway, I am undecided about how much to post here. Not everyone wants to read about sensuality and wickedness, even if it is fun. Still, this is my blog and I do think women would really enjoy this if they weren't set against it just because their Mother's told them it was bad, disgusting, and downright yucky.

I will say that it is not about sex itself. I think people who spurn it on principle imagine orgies and whips and a lot of really casual sex. It isn't that unless the people involved do all of that. Mostly it is about foreplay, for some it is lifestyle as they live it rather than think of it as something they do leading to sex. I'm somewhere in there. I don't plan to have sex with someone I have just met on a first date but I may make him squirm a little. Just for fun, for the power of being able to do so if I choose to be wicked.

Let the Man Do the Work

I have encountered a new guy. Can't say we have met as we have not met yet. We will be having breakfast/ brunch on Thursday. He is widowed with a 19 year old daughter. He does insurance for refurbished boats. Sounds like someone I could like.

What I have not told my Mother is just how we encountered each other and what other thing I know about him that I probably won't tell her. I will whisper it to you... shh, keep it to yourself. We met on an adult personals site and he likes to be a sissy, frills and all. You may be thinking this is something I can not do, could not be interested in... and yet... I am. Not sure about it 100%. But, I always did say I would marry a guy who could have a maid to do the housework. So, isn't this my way of keeping my promise to myself, in my own weird way.

People don't talk about fetishes and what they like along with sex. I'm not a porn star, nympho type. But, I do know that I am not entirely straight forward. Yet, I don't feel entirely comfortable to write about it. I know my Mom and sisters think cock sucking is dirty, not something they would do. I'm a bit on the fence there. My ex wasn't very clean and that does stick in your mind. But, I do like being in control. I do like being the one sitting with a wicked grin while he sweats and moans.

On the other hand... a man who will perform pedicures, bake cookies and clean the washroom as sexual foreplay isn't all bad. Of course, not all of those at the same time or order.

I used to write adult content for the adult part of backwash.com. I used to write adult stories for a man I liked online. It wasn't icky. How could it be as long as I was in charge. I could almost be a born again virgin if I didn't want to get rid of the title quite so much. Yes, I like sex. When it's done well. To my specifications. Having a little man to boss around could be a good thing.

But, like I wrote, we have yet to actually meet. There's a long way to go from bacon and eggs to letting him fluff my pillows or wash my windows. Still, as nice and pleasant and polite as I am... there is a part of me that just likes being evil, wicked and shocking. How suitable to have someone who wants that rather than someone who will think I'm peculiar and undesirable.

Grrl in Charge

I don't think it's terrible or very adult to be interested in being the woman in charge of the man when it comes to the fun side of a relationship. To say it politely versus talking about more shocking things like BDSM and Dommes and men who want to be submissive.

It's not all about sex. There are things and situations assumed as soon as someone talks about BDSM and Dominance and submission. But, for me it's about being in charge and doing things my own way. If you don't want him drooling over you then you get to make the change. Instead he can wash the dishes and then kneel at your feet until just having him kneeling there starts to be more interesting than annoying.

I don't see everything connected to the D/s fetish being adult and taboo. It's fun. Aren't there things you'd like to do which 'nice girls' just don't do? Wouldn't you like to have a man be the one who feels helpless and unsatisfied for a change. You don't need leather clothes, extraordinary high heels or whips and chains. You can skip the accessories completely and just work with your voice telling him what to do. Force isn't necessary. Both of you want to do this, to have this experience and that is part of the charge and thrill of it.

Keep it all in the bedroom, private and just between the two of you. Take it out a bit, for a little more fun. Torment him just a little more. But, keep it fun for both of you. He needs to know you are in charge and that means you say when you've had enough, just are plain not interested or want him in another room- preferably making himself useful doing some of the household everyday work.

So are you shocked? My little secret is out. I like being the woman in charge of the man, at least in the bedroom.

Inspired by the Doodles of Claire

Inspired by Claire. Doodle Dominatrix!
The most fun you can have with your doodle.

This is Cute in an Evil Way

Sex and Promiscuity

A few questions about sex from Choclat Covered Imperfections

1. Have you ever lied to someone you were/are dating about how many people you have been with sexually?

2. What do you consider a high number of sexual partners for someone in their early 20s?

3. Condoms or no condoms?


There is no wrong or right answer, I just want your opinion. I'll share my opinion later.

1. Not that I remember. But I haven't been with many that there seems enough to bother lying about.

2. I'd rather not judge someone else. But I was a virgin during my twenties so anything higher than a few seems like a lot to me.

3. The husband didn't like condoms. I didn't see the point in using them with someone I planned to see over breakfast for the next 30 or so years. The boyfriend (after the divorce) decided to just play around rather than have the need for condoms. Men have been a big disappointment sexually.

She hasn't shared her opinion yet. Check back with her to see what she posts to her blog.

Adult Breastfeeding

It’s true that I do have some odd interests. Some I would not admit to, ever. Some I would consider doing with the right person. Not all sexual things, actually most things are not about sex at all. It’s just on my mind at the moment.

Let’s talk about John for a moment. We met about 2 months ago now, all contact through email. At first it was cause I was working on the business proposal and we had just met anyway. Then he was sick, then he needed to sort out his own life: find another job, move and his computer was eaten by a virus. All of these are reasonalble things, it’s just bad timing, right. I’m getting echos in my head of Todd and Eric. When men end relationships by ignoring you and hoping you will go away, it rubs off. I don’t really think John is hoping I will go away but… I don’t know for sure. I could be wrong. I was wrong before, twice. I don’t want to be the only one hanging on again. It sucks. It’s a huge blow to the ego, the pride, the grrl who is still in here and thinks there is a chance she can find someone (even still).

So, I have been sad and lonely, even more than before. Missing a man I’ve never met and who may actually have dumped me. I can’t be sure. He seemed to be feeling things for me, as I was/ am feeling things for him.

So, I began reading the personals at Craigslist again. Just out of interest, some kind of hobby I could do online seeing as I am routinely glued to this computer day after day.

I read an ad from a guy who was looking for a woman into induced lactation. I read it a couple of times, curious. I didn’t find much online about it. You may wonder why I even looked, but I was mainly curious, somewhat sexally stimulated too. That would be quite a lot of dedicated breast sucking after all. In the end I think that was the real turn on for me. I investigated it, I emailed the man with the ad. But, the practical side of adult breastfeeding means you become a slave to your own boobs. You need to be there and accounted for every four hours. Can you imagine living like that? If you had a baby it would be do-able. You’d need to be there as a babysitter as well as a baby feeder. But to do that for an adult would be a huge cramp in your style.

For one thing, just think of the last time you were out somewhere. Were you gone more than four hours? I take my nephew out to the movies and book store shopping, we spend more than four hours out together. If I take a course at the local college I would be gone for the day. It is interesting all the things we do when you sort them into time slots of four hours.

So, the breastfeeding relationship won’t be up and coming for me. I will stick with ordinary breast worship. But I want it now. I’m not willing to keep being patient. I’ve been a good grrl a long time. It’s wearing a bit thin around the edges.

Anyway, just thought I’d share. Keeps me from being completely boring.

Bake Sale and Adult Content

They are having a bake sale at work today. There was a notice up on the boards about donating your baked goods. No time or contact information, just the date. It kind of annoyed me. Here I am, struggling to be a good, dutiful bill payer (usually wondering if there is life under all those bills) and now I should hustle baked goods for them? Not just the expense (which is hefty for all that butter and other goodies I don't keep around) but my time. I worked till close last night. That would give me this morning to get the supplies, do the baking and then show up for work 3 hours early to deliver them before noon. Why would I do that? Sure, it's for the associates fund but they don't even include the cashiers in any of their meetings. So, I stayed home and watched the snow flurries and updated the adult content here and there. I'm making an adult page for my ShopGrrl site but I won't link it from the main page. I like keeping it seperate. I still have that nice grrl image thing to cope with. I'm not sure if it's all in my mind any more or whatever... But, it's there.

Succubus and Incubus Information Wanted

Succubus and Incubus Information Wanted

Can we assume they got him?

I'm writing a horror story for Gracie's adult site. I thought I'd do something about succubi/ succubus/ incubi. Along those lines. Anyway, I was looking for some of the traditional lore and came across this site.

Last post was in 2001. So I assume he came to a bad end or just got bored. Meanwhile, someone is keeping the site online.

Scary, eh?

The Nice Grrl

Families really do complicate things. I can't tell mine anything any more. They want you to fit into the nice grrl mould and if you crack the mould even slightly there is something seriously wrong and bad about you. I talked about being Pagan and that shook them up but the weeble wobbled back into place, more or less. I told them I wrote erotica and that was too much. For a long time I was 'dirty' and it took awhile for them to decide I wasn't bad. They don't know I still write erotica and they have no idea that the men I meet are from BDSM sites and so on. It really does give you a lot to work on with your own self image. It's a joke really. People who meet me say I'm so nice, sweet, etc. Most have no idea who I really am. I guess we are all like that. Or that's what I assume.

Beer Comercial

Last night I watched a movie about how women and men were sterilized against their wishes. It was called Heart of the Sun or something like that. Anyway, during this sensitive movie Molson's beer ran an ad (at least 4 times) in which men are secretly watching a group of women skinny dipping in a lake, using binoculars. The women are not aware of the men watching them.

First of all, the amount of skin shown on the women shocked me. I really could not believe an ad showing breasts and butt like that would be allowed past the censors. The men were fully clothed. Actually, the only thing missing was for them to be holding the binoculars with one hand and stroking their cocks with the other.

Secondly, the whole idea of making a beer commerical about an invasion of privacy is just too much. Women are abused this way every day. That does not make it ok to use for a beer commerical. What are they really selling? How many people do you think will remember which brand of beer that was? Most will be trying to tape the commercial so they can save the nude scenes and share them with others. There are whole websites devoted to upskirts, in which men take secret pictures of women. It should be illegal, women should be protected from this kind of abuse but we are not. Instead we are now being used to sell beer.

Here is what I wrote to Molson this morning:

Last night I saw Molson's new beer ad at least 4 times, the one with the women skinny dipping and the man (then men) watching with binoculars. No doubt this does happen at some lake somewhere but that does not make it ok for a beer commercial.

I was angry each time that commercial came on. To me Molson is abusing women to sell beer. Molson has sold our right to privacy and our safety for its profit. I doubt anyone who would approve of that ad has ever been violated, had their home invaded/ robbed or been phoned by peeping toms to comment on how they looked stepping out of the shower moments ago. Women are abused in this way every day and now Molson is selling beer on it.

There is also the issue of how much of the women's bodies were exposed for that ad. I as pretty shocked at the amount of skin, breast and buttocks shown. Molson has definitely crossed over the line from "cute" to soft porn.

I hope they will pull the ad, but I doubt it. No doubt it will sell a lot of... beer.

Ideal Sexual Partner

Tickle: Tests, Matchmaking and Social Networking

"Laura, your ideal sexual partner is a Type 4.

A Type 4 partner radiates warmth and love. They are affectionate during sex and will rarely shy away from telling you how they feel about you. This is someone you can always rely on to be honest and sincere, since sex is the ultimate expression of their trust in you.

Both physically and emotionally, a Type 4 is a sexual explorer. Orgasm is rarely the driving goal with this person and because of this, they are likely to be creative and able to take you places you may never have expected."

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