It’s a Rainy Day Today

Today it’s raining. I can see the wet pine trees outside my window. The birds are out catching easy worms and having bird showers.

These days people seem to have reversed their attitude about children. Now it seems children should be seen, heard and endured. Children should be left to run wild, without rules or any respect for other people or things. My sister has three children and I have none. I really wanted children, a husband, a place of our own but that isn’t how things worked out for me. She has those things and they aren’t valuable to her, not as much as her business/ career and having money.

She was here yesterday with her second husband and the offspring. It was a zoo. I’m not even going to type out all the details. She left us with a screen door to repair. At least the little girls got to play outside with other kids. They don’t get out with other kids usually.

Graham is having a thing cause I’m not ready to move into the apartment. I don’t know how I’m supposed to move in there as it is. I guess I am though. Family can be a blessing and a curse. Mine have a habit of making decisions for me and then making me feel everthing is my fault.

This is moody, gloomy blog post. I’m tired of writing it even.

I’m still looking forward to having my own place downtown. If I can get some kind of job I will be able to do a little decorating here and there. Some little curtains for the basement windows. A new computer desk/ cart which will take up less space than the table I’m using now. Lots of things to look forward to if it all works out.

I am still tired. Having Zack here means I am getting a lot less sleep. He does fine. He goes to bed by 9:00 or 9:30 and gets up about 6:00 (5:30 this morning). I get up when he does, he gets me up. But I go to bed about 1:00 or later. Just trying to get things done, some writing. The writing isn’t going terribly well as I have too many things crowding around in my mind. Still, when I’m not here I know I will be missing Zack. So it’s worth a little exhaustion to spend time with him now.