The Fixer Upper

Do you ever run (or back away quickly) from people who are too normal, too good for you? I do. I feel unworthy of someone I’d actually like to date or get to know. I seem to let myself meet the less than normal, the people who need help and fixing, they seem to be ok for me to get to know. Maybe I think they will think I’m better than they are cause I don’t have quite so many problems or need less fixing than they do. Maybe I just don’t want to aim higher and be told how damaged and unfixable I am.

I had a reply from a guy to my Craigslist ad this morning. He could have written more about himself, more than his height, weight, eye colour and hair colour. Why does that begin to sound like a recipe after awhile? I would have emailed back if he had written about who he is. But, at the end of his two sentence reply he offered to meet for drinks and gave his phone number. A little thing. So why did I get that quick shot of fear, the instinct to back away quickly? It was just too normal I think. How can I compete with that? How can I even think of doing something like that? Just considering what I would wear, how I would haul my butt onto a bar stool, gives me a sinking feeling. So, although I kept his note, I don’t think much will come of it.

Interesting though, to realize I do seem to end up dating or being with people who need fixing and I tend to back away from anyone who is normal, or at least not in need of repairs.