Change One Thing

Change one thing in your life and you can change your whole world.

As you may know, I am working on the small business idea, self employment, after working as an office clerk, a department store cashier and generally being a nobody with a lot of wishful thinking. I always wanted to... write, for one thing.

I wasn't a total wash up. I wrote for websites, quite a few of them, but none felt like a real credit to me. Not being paid does that. They'd have anyone write, for free. Geting paid for your work gives it value and makes yourself seem validated too. You become part of the select group who are worth being paid for what you do rather than the rabble who do it just for the privilege of being published.

I don't mean to put anyone down. How could I when I have been right there among the rabble? I was glad to be published. I still am! I loved writing a weekly column. I did it for BackWash for more than three years. It was great as an experience and wonderful to learn to write weekly, to come up with something to say and get it out there. I wrote bits for LockerGnome, a presitious site. But, I felt in some way that they were doing me a favour.

That was the wrong way to think.

I was giving them something of value. But, I didn't feel that way, then. If you are writing for a website, without getting paid, don't get stuck there. Don't roost on that shelf and think "well, this is ok... I'm getting published."

It's great that you have started but you have only just started. Move on, take another step.

That is what I'm doing. Today I was thinking about that. How my world and the way I thought before were small and narrow. I was thinking that I'm just a cashier, or I'm just someone from a small town, or I'm just some whatever. I didn't think I was worthy of taking on my own good ideas! That's so wrong and SUCH a waste.

Now I am moving again. When I first left Zellers I was delighted, then the lack of pay cheque set in. :D That was less than delightful. Still it took me awhile of fighting myself and the people around me who are used to the cashier mentality. My family still don't see me as someone who can move beyond those low paying jobs. They may say something nice when I want to hear it but they don't believe it, fully.

Anyway, as I meant to say when I started all this, as I am changing, stretching and trying to move ahead I find that my world is stretching around me. I am meeting people I would not have met when I was still looking down at what I wish I could do. I have ideas (more than before even!) and I'm not afraid to use them.

I wrote that before, years ago, before the divorce. I lost that for awhile. I'm back now.

Beware: Here there be Dragons. Or, for Skye - I am Dragon, hear me roar. ;)