Sometimes you Keep your Spirits up with a Sharp Pointy Stick

I'm hoping tomorrow will bring the start of better things. Though I shouldn't become pessimistic and not enjoy the good things just because I feel down about the un-good things.

Most of this week I will be at my sister's house in Newmarket. Mainly because she and her daughters are away visiting our Mother in Florida for the week and I didn't like to leave my nephew, Zack, alone so much time. His Dad is here and I know would do his best. But, they now have two businesses to run and there isn't any way he could handle all that by himself for a week and keep Zack company. So here I am. I'm also down to a few last dollars and they are turning the power off on the house for the neverending story of renovations. I hope all the fish and such which I have in the freezer will be ok. I bought it when the oven/ stove was still functional. Who would expect they could break that? It was brand new. Anyway, I'm tired of problems and not having an oven or laundry washing or money.

I'm reading a new book from the second hand store. It's by Gena Showalter. About people running a business to catch cheating husbands and wives. Basically they have staff who dress up like easy pickings and send them out to tempt the cheating spouses. I think it's a bit silly. Most men (and some women) are likely to take up that kind of offer if they actually get a chance. In reality they aren't likely to get a young woman who looks like a porn star unless they have something she wants. But, the women who catch the cheaters are only checking up on them cause the wives or girlfriends have cause to be suspicious. So, most likely, they are screw ups, literally.

I don't understand why married people cheat. I guess too many get married for stupid reasons and then can't be bothered to care about or respect the person they are married to. I only seriously considered sex with someone else while I was married for the short time when I wanted to have kids and the husband decided he didn't. In that case it wasn' t about the sex or finding someone new and exciting or any of that BS. I just really wanted at least one kid of my own. Now, here I am, 44 and single and it's not likely to happen. I'm divorced so I could screw around until I turn up pregnant. But, that's not me. First, I just don't want such casual sex. I'd like him to at least know who I am and have some real care and respect for me as a woman versus a plastic blow up doll. Second, being a single parent just isn't all that appealing. I have seen how important it is for kids to have two parents.

Anyway, that's the chatter for tonight. I am so crazy tired. If I'm not doing something and just sit down I start to fall asleep right away. Maybe it is the stress. If I stop to think I do feel pretty upset. The key is to just not stop and think. Much more fun to daydream instead. It's funny how many times I have caught a Keanu Reeves movie on lately too. Funny in a weird way almost. Don't think I'm being foolish about not thinking about the reality. It's just that thinking about it just to stress yourself out isn't going to be of much help. I think about it when I have something real I can do and plan.

Maybe the cheque will hit my bank tonight or tomorrow and I can start paying the bills. One of them has begun to phone this week. If I can pay off a good chunk of it I won't have to call them back. That would be nice.