Job Interview Tips

Things not to do in a job interview...

Stare right at them, directly in the eyes and don't speak at all.

Shake their hand, pat them on the arm, lean in close to talk and then casually mention you've got a really bad cold.

Lock the office door before you sit down and tell her you want complete privacy for this interview.

Bring out your wallet and try to bribe him/ her with your McDonald's coupon.

Pick your nose, or anything else body related.

Make jokes about the people in photos on his or her desk.

Tease the interviewer about her wardrobe choices and hairstyle.

Suggest you could do his/ her job but you'd need a big raise.

Talk to yourself, about yourself.

Go on and on about how great your blog is and how you really like to post pictures of your pet goldfish, Little Swimmer.

Chat about all your aches and pains and how you really hope the job's benefits will kick in soon.

Talk to them while looking at something just past their head, never make eye contact, just a lot of near misses.

Shake their hand and suggest you beat them at arm wrestling next.

Tell them how you like your coffee and don't mind to wait while they go get it for you.

Start the conversation by telling them about what an awful hangover you've got this morning.

Steal office supplies from his/ her desk.

Ask them why they're still here at such a dull company, doing such a dead end job.

Offer up all your ideas for getting rid of bodies.

Ask them for personal information like a home address and phone number so you can call them every day to ask when you're getting the job.

Squish a bug and offer them the remains so they can see that green goo coming out of it.

Hope this list helps someone. Good luck out there!