Taking Power Back

No matter what you are feeling powerless about, it can help to simply create a plan of action. When we feel powerless, we often feel like we are trapped in a box with no way out. There seem to be dead-ends every way we turn. If we can sit down and create a plan with step by step actions we can take right now, guess what happens? We realize that we’re not powerless. The most empowering thing you can do is to get moving. Don’t just sit there and accept what life hands you. Get up, get out and create the life you deserve!

Wendy Betterini - Wings for the Heart

Journal of the Morning

I feel powerless. I give up cause no matter what I do or how much I do, in the end it won’t be enough or good enough and nothing I do matters. I don’t matter.

I feel giving up is what I need to do, what I should do cause I need to hurt myself. I should be hurt, it’s what women should live with and how we were meant to be.

Government, society and men know this. That’s why abuse and crimes against women are fairly ignored and tolerated. Often the abuser, the molester, the criminal is given more care and consideration than the women he hurt or killed. Men still make the laws, men still have the unofficial and unwritten knowledge that women are here to be abused. We are tools and no matter how far we try to get, we can’t out run that fact.

We will even hurt each other in order to keep the order. No one woman should be allowed to think she can step out of line and into the light.

I feel angry. So angry that I’m afraid to let even a corner of it show. I’m angry at people in my life yet I won’t blame them for being human and imperfect. So, I direct my anger at myself. I hate myself. I hate myself for being powerless and I hate myself for being so angry when it is so unfair and mean spirited to be angry at others. Everything is my fault. I should be better. I should be less sensitive. I should do more. I should think less. I should stop being so angry. I should utilize my potential which I don’t believe really exists cause I’m powerless and I deserve to fail cause I’m wrong somehow. Something about me or in me is bad. There is nothing I can do about it.

I feel ashamed of myself. I know how little I really do. I hide it from others so they won’t all know how little I really matter. They were right, if anyone really knew, no one would ever want me. If people knew me, the real me, they would know there really is nothing good about me.