These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website and obviously the answers (jokingly) came from a fellow Canuck.
Amazing how nieve/ignorant people can be of different countries/cultures.
Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your north ... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is..
oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk Is
illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense rattlesnake
serum. (USA)
A: All Canadian rattlesnakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely
handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name.
It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself
with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated
while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Sunday, December 4, 2005
Canada and the Rest of the World
I just started reading this in an email.
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1 comment:
This was hilarious even though some of the questions were sent in as jokes, or I hope so at least. You never know. I lived years in Germany and was often asked if I new this or that person in the United States. Sure I know your relative in Oregon. Never been there, but sure. On the other hand I've been asked here in the U.S. how I could stand growing up eating only Bratwurst, Sauerkraut and beer. My answer to that: The same as you could growing up on burgers, fries and diet coke.
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