Cute Little Devil

Watching Alice (again). Filmed in Vancouver with a lot of Canadian, US and British actors. Andrew-Lee Potts is one of the Brits. I've seen him before in Primeval. Charming smile. He wears a lot of eye make up in Alice, I don't think he needed that much.

Not Long Enough

Cut and pasted from a FaceBook friend's profile:

I helped set up my lover's PC. For his password he typed "MYPENIS" I laughed and fell off the chair when the PC replied PASSWORD REJECTED- NOT LONG ENOUGH!!

It's Time... for Keanu

There are times when he looks pretty scruffy, pretty ordinary or not even that good. There are times when he looks like your brother, nice but a goof cause you know him too well and all the mystery is gone. There are times when he looks like a movie star and a leading man. But, there is something about Keanu and no matter what other manbots come along he is still the main manbot and I still just like something about him, more than just the way he looks.

On Flickr: Keanu Reeves and Loving Keanu Reeves.

You Won't Be Disappointed

Why is it that when men say "you won't be disappointed" you always are?

As found on Craigslist.

looking for a busty bbw 35 or older - 42
I travel all over the city and all day long i see big busty beautiful woman and it drives me crazy, I want to meet one. If you are a busty bbw and youd like to meet a muscular white guy in his 40's that wants to meet you, say hello. Ive got a great sense of humour and a lot of passion for a very full figured lady.
Your pic gets mine... you wont be disappointed. You will be loved and appreciated.

On impulse I wrote. Cause I am over 35 and I do have a BBW figure. I didn't suggest meeting cause I'm not living very near Toronto any more. He wrote back this morning and asked for a picture, saying he often comes out to Barrie. I sent a photo along with more about myself. I get a reply back (very short) that I am not his type.

Well, I'm disappointed. If I'm over 35, BBW and busty... how am I not his type?

Men are either just that stupid or just that foolish.

A Little Keanu

For Mo (and me).

They Killed Nash!

I don't watch the soaps as much as I used to when I had night shifts. But, I still teared up when Nash died and today the sisters, Natalie and Jessica were dealing with the fallout. I didn't think they would really let Nash die when he fell through the skylight. What a shame. Jessica/ Tess and Nash made a great couple. Lots of fun to watch and I liked that both actors are Canadian. I hope Forbes March gets another science fiction series instead of another soap opera.

My Career as a Mad Man-Stalker

Three Facts:

A) There is a guy at work I really like. First it was just his sexy, wicked smile but then I began to notice how nice and calm he is, like pouring water over water. Just something kind of nice. Can't find the right words for it. He also has a wicked smile, like a pirate, did I mention that? (I really don't care what a guy's butt looks like- if I wanted to look at a butt I'd get one of those dogs that walk around with their tail all curled up, that would be plenty of butt for anyone into that sort of thing - I'm not a dog person, luckily). Also, when I began some research into the guy at work he got good reviews. He is a nice guy with a good sense of humour. Though no one else seems to think he looks like anything special. (Their loss, likely all dog people).

B) I am not someone any guy has ever gone crazy for. Plus I'm plus sized, quite a bit... quite a lot.... plus sized. This does not give me a good feeling about the whole attacking first plan of luring in said non-dog, pirate smile, guy.

C) Based on past experience I don't have a flying clue what to do with a guy should I ever actually get one I really do want. Get him and have him actually be in the same town at the same time for an extended period of time. I am limited in man handling experience. I married the only guy I slept with and was a virgin until late in life. I was not a late bloomer, I'm not sure what happened. Or didn't happen. Still isn't happening. I just don't seem to get noticed. I could tattoo something suggestive on my forehead and only other women would notice me and ask me what the heck I was thinking when I did such a lame brain thing. Men would only notice the other women talking to me, not me.

So I have these facts set out for you.

Now, the solution I am working on, in theory.... stalking him.

Yes it's kind of dramatic and risky. Some would say foolish and stupid. But, someone has to try these things from the woman's point of view, why not me? Well, why not?

So, I took the first steps in the potential stalking. I found his last name and came home to look up his address and phone number. I still don't have the full address cause it turns out it is an apartment building and the phone book did not list the apartment number. No doubt I can figure that out. It just has to be in a non-threatening way. You know, there is a thin line between stalking and being a threat or just plain scaring off the guy. If you start calling him prey, for instance, that's a bad sign. A pretty bad sign in fact. Avoid that one.

That is all the progress I have made in the potential stalking to date. I have thoughts about sending an anonymous greeting card to his address, once I find it. Note, you must be careful to keep it anonymous as that is a big part of the whole plan. If he doesn't know who I am he won't be able to gently let down the fat grrl at work. If he doesn't know who I am he can just keep thinking he is really hot stuff... if only he knew which of those babes at work sent him the greeting card. You see how well that works. Anyway, who can resist the hint of mystery, a little puzzle to solve and whet his curiousity while stroking his ego.

Thus ends my first day as an official mad man-stalker. Not a lot of progress made but nothing to concern the police with either. So, not a bad first day, all in all.

Things You Can Do with Hair

Everywhere I go, there I am. My hair I mean. How do people have so much hair available that they can have an endless trail of it all over the place. If you get lost in the woods don't worry about silly things like which side of the tree moss grows on or the old traditional things like a trail of breadcrumbs. Just follow your own hair back to where you started from. A version of Rapunzel really. I bet it would work too.

Of course, if you happen to have short hair it would be tougher. Animals have short hair too. Some guy could be out there trying to follow this plan and end up walking into a bear's cave or something. Like that would be an entirely bad thing. It gives a whole new option on disposing of his body. How can they possibly think you did anything if a bear ate him out in the woods. It's not your fault he got lost. Everyone knows how men never want to ask for directions.

Why do we like to plan the demise of our men? Seems a bit unfair or slightly mean. Yet, it is fun. Maybe you have to be divorced at least once to really enjoy a good man bashing. I'm not mean spirited. Not really. I don't try to kill strange men. Though I'm not thinking of any man in particular when I do create my nasty plots and body disposal ideas. He's kind of generic though nice enough looking. Maybe he was even a nice guy at some point. I wouldn't have bothered getting to know a jerk after all.

Poor guy. Still, he must have done something. Likely he pretended not to know how to wash windows one too many times. Or he asked where his socks were like a simpleton. Maybe he farted and laughed. That bugs me, man stink is not funny or something you want in the same room unless he is doing some real labour like fixing and repairing something. It is kind of nice to watch them doing home repairs, painting something, quietly hammering... screwing... I like watching them shave too. I don't know why. It's nice to see some face stubble and then watch him lather up that manly chin and shave all that whiskery hair away.

So here we are, back full circle to hair again. Funny how men lose theirs. I just know it's some kind of revenge for childbirth, extra fat cells, cramps and chocolate cravings. Not enough revenge. Possibly that's why we have daydreams about doing bad things to men, even the ones we kind of like.

No Sign of Intelligent Life

I posted to the personals in Craigslist over a month ago. I had a lot of replies, pretty much all NSA stuff. He would have had to dig through a lot of old posts just to find mine. Then, being the intelligent and witty man he is:

john smith-
go back to that photographer and get your money back cause you fucken ugly

Me- Who asked you.

john smith-
ah dont be such a dirty bitch i got what you want the donky dick
ill be ruben around your area tomarrow wana hang with it

However ugly I am, not only can I still spell but I'm still good enough to have sex with animals. Goodie for me. I was so over joyed I just couldn't reply.

For the Useless Men on VDay

I just know the Useless Men will get a laugh from this one.

Poor Useless Brother

I wasn't actually asked for my opinion but I do have a brother so I feel qualified to offer an opinion on the whole Firing of the Useless Brother advice thing.

This is what I posted in a comment on Angel's blog:

Useless Brother is going to find out about this. Especially now that you have posted it to the Useless site. If you really want to fire him use a cannon and make sure you get a lot of distance. Good luck with that.

Makes me think of that whole piano catapult thing. Did you ever see that? I remember they had a whole show about it on Northern Exposure once.

The Useless Men were Here

 

I missed seeing The Useless Men tonight. Thanks for the great shiny tin. No doubt I will find some use or other for the dog collar. *evil snickering grin* I'm not quite so nasty as to make my date eat the dog food though. However, you never can tell what tricks a grrl might play on her brother. 

Mr. Mom: Webmasters with Housework

Mr. Mom web ring. For the guys.

40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN

40 MISTAKES MEN MAKE WHILE HAVING SEX WITH WOMEN

Men in a Sexual Rut

I think men are in a rut when it comes to sex. Once it touches their mind they can not see or think past it. I have noticed that online almost all of them are in sex mode. As if there is no need to really get to know someone cause they are only here to hook up for sex. That's what the internet is right, a big bar scene? Yet, so many of them say they are tired of the bar scene.

Once you speak of sex or sexual things to a man he no longer has any real conversation, no real thoughts of who you are. You become a possible sex partner.

Sure there will be those who boo me. Who insist I am wrong about them, their significant other their brother, husband, Dad, penis carrier in general. But, from my experience... men can not think beyond sex once the subject has been introduced. They have a one cock mind.

I would enjoy meeting a guy who can prove this wrong, possibly a guy who isn't a Virgo however. They do seem to be odd hermit like types with very strict codes of right and wrong and kind of stuck in their ways. I have given up on Virgo men, though I was friends with one once.

The Lard Biscuit: True Confessions of a Fat Admirer

The Lard Biscuit: True Confessions of a Fat Admirer

I don't begrudge the slender women their men. But, it is always nice to read something like this, in support of women like myself who are not slender, who do have a "huge ass" and the boobs to match.

Thanks Donald.

The Man Pillow

For Suzuki, who is estranged from her husband, the pillow has definite advantages: "It doesn't squirm or thrash in the night, and you know it'll be there in the morning."

Read more about the man pillow including the upcoming woman lap pillow for men.

Here are some pictures too.

The Queens' Closet: Little Something for the Guys

The Queens' Closet: Little Something for the Guys

In particular, the Johnny Light.

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR THAT NOT-QUITE-PERFECT GUY IN YOUR LIFE--The JOHNNY LIGHT illuminates the bowl when the seat is up--good for us in so many ways--first, we are alerted to the danger and we don't fall in--this is enough for us to want it. It also gives the guy who suffers from, shall we say, Loose Cannon Syndrome--a well-lit target to aim for--this is also good for us on account of, realistically, how many of them clean the bathroom on a regular basis? And--the guy who invented it is a close personal friend of our very own Kacey Jones! And it's only 12 bucks!

I don't know who the Sweet Potato Queens are but this should be on the Christmas list of every married or attached (to a male) woman.

Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

Heartless Bitches International - Why "Nice Guys" are often such LOSERS

Not all nice guys are like this. There are nice guys who aren't needy. But there are a lot of needy guys who are nice out of necessity. Makes you wonder what they would really be like if they stopped being needy.

I think we all have some of each. I'm nice but I look after the needy part myself. The more you rely on other people the more needy you get.